Ah, the dreaded expectations talk in sugar dating – the conversation that can make or break a budding arrangement faster than you can say “sugar daddy.” As a seasoned sugar baby, I’ve had my fair share of these heart-to-heart discussions, and let me tell you, they’re more nerve-wracking than a job interview with Donald Trump.
Let’s start with the basics, shall we? How often do you expect to see me? It’s a question that’s as crucial to sugar dating as a good selfie angle. Because let’s face it, nobody has got time for a sugar daddy who wants to see you every hour on the hour – unless he’s willing to fork over some serious dough for your time.
And then there’s the thorny issue of boundaries and limitations – a topic that’s about as fun to discuss as a root canal. From physical boundaries to emotional boundaries, laying down the law upfront is essential in avoiding any awkward misunderstandings down the line.
But perhaps the most important question of all is: What is your preferred method of communication? Because let’s be real, no one wants a sugar daddy who expects you to be on call 24/7 like some kind of sugar-coated secretary.
And speaking of communication, it’s important to ask your sugar daddy if he’s had previous sugar relationships. If so, what did he learn from them? Because let’s face it, who has time for a sugar daddy who’s still stuck in the dark ages of sugar dating, making rookie mistakes left and right.
And let’s not forget about confidentiality – the holy grail of sugar dating. Asking your sugar daddy about his expectations for confidentiality is essential in ensuring that your dirty little secret stays just that – a secret. Nobody has time for a sugar daddy who’s loose lipped like a sailor on shore leave.
Now, let’s talk about some other important questions to ask during the expectations talk:
How often do you expect to see each other? A very important question as scheduling multiple dates or even juggling work, a social life and everyday life do take time.
What are your financial expectations and arrangements? Knowing that a date is a PPM model, or a monthly allowance is important in knowing when starting a relationship.
What are your boundaries and limitations in terms of intimacy? This is important as it will set the stage for the relationship, does it include any intimacy or let’s just say it sex. It is critical to understand that some sugar relationships do not include intimacy, they are rare, but they do exist. Knowing what you’re getting in to can help you decide if that is the right thing for you.
How do you prefer to communicate outside of our meetings? There are a lot of different communication methods available these days, but the most common is texting. Be sure to get a virtual number, a google voice number for example, keep your private number private.
Have you had previous sugar relationships? If so, what did you learn from them? It is good to know if you’re dealing with a seasoned pro or a newbie in the area. Some things that could happen in both are drastically different. It also mostly helps the serious conversation topics as he has already had the conversation before and some of the awkwardness should be gone.
What are your expectations for confidentiality and discretion? It is important to keep a personal life separate from a sugar relationship, these two are needed to maintain a reasonable mental state. In addition, there is the social stigma related to sugar relationships and it is easier to avoid those if the relationship is kept private.
Are you open to exclusive arrangements, or do you prefer non-exclusive relationships? To be exclusive would in general provide an allowance instead of a PPM, this comes with some drawbacks but also some advantages. It could include a better financial incentive to be exclusive, also the scheduling of multiple dates with different men would be eliminated but be sure this includes enough dates in a month, or the relationship could get stale. It is also important to consider the income stream from one source versus a few, if the relationship ends abruptly so does the financial assistance.
Are you interested in travel or vacation experiences together? This is important for many reasons, if you have a real job and can’t take off work on short notice or have friends and family that make it hard to create an excuse to be out of town, or maybe you don’t enjoy the traveling nightmare all the time. Knowing when to travel with a sugar daddy is critical, too soon could end you up stranded in an unknown town. It has happened to me. Make sure to get round trip tickets if flying and take them with you. I wouldn’t recommend traveling outside the country until you really know you can trust him. This also brings up the privacy aspect as your real name and identity has to be known to fly. A better solution, instead of him getting the tickets have him provide the assistance to get your own. Remember, keeping your real identity separate from a sugar relationship is key to being safe in a unsafe world.
How do you handle potential conflicts or disagreements within the relationship? Knowing that communication is the key to any relationship, it is important to set the guidelines for these events when, or if, they occur. The go to is to just drop the person from both sides, but if both are serious about having a real sugar relationship then open communication is the goal, even for the difficult subjects.
What are your expectations for gifts and perks? Because it is good to know that the financial side of the relationship meets the goals and who has time for a sugar daddy who’s stingier than Scrooge McDuck and promises more than they can provide. Let’s admit one thing, being a woman is difficult. We have to look our best most of the time and that normally includes trips to the salon or even trips shopping for the nicest pair of pants. Knowing what your sugar daddy will provide in this aspect is good. Trips to the salon are critical for maintaining the look he expects and desires, he should know that already.
These are only a few of the multitude of questions that need to be addressed. Several things from intimacy should be expanded and completely understood by both sides, not all sex is the same and some boundaries should be considered. The conversation on using protection is the top of the list. The craze right now is without protection, not recommended for short term relationships, and even long term are questionable. Use your own judgement and remember, being safe is not optional.
Finally, the most important aspect is open communication which is important in any relationship, and it is even more important in a sugar relationship.
In conclusion, the expectations talk in sugar dating is like navigating a minefield blindfolded – scary, exhilarating, and absolutely essential. By asking the right questions and setting clear boundaries upfront, you can avoid any awkward misunderstandings and ensure that your sugar relationship is as sweet as can be. And remember, nobody has time for unnecessary drama when communication could eliminate most of it.
